We Getting Indicted?
Get that bail money ready, I'm probably on the list
In this week’s installment of the dumbest timeline to ever exist— I wanted to start with the terrifying mob boss wannabe actions of our Citrus in Chief.
Starting with James Comey, who ironically is a large part of the reason (aside from racism and sexism) that Trump was ever able to become president, being indicted on charges of making false statements to Congress. Screw that..congress, they don’t deserve the capital letters.
Anyway… Comey allegedly said something that some other dude says, “nuh uhhh” and the ‘president’ is using that as a basis to indict and try to imprison the former director of the FBI.
Now, this came after the other prosecutor assigned to this case was like..nah nothing there bud..and the oversized toddler threw a fit.
Actually— he was both a toddler and super old dude who doesn’t understand computer
Intending to DM the Attorney General but accidentally posting online, the super smart genius implored the AG to indict and arrest these people. All because they called out him for…wait for it…committing crimes.
But back to the story— the post came after the first prosecutor was like…nah Comey didn’t do anything so we gotta chalk it up to the game homie. Only for the orange baby to find someone else to do it.
The message is clear— if you cross dumpy, he will come for you. And this gives cover to others to then act like it is okay because the accused is now officially a ‘criminal.’ Which, wild because their leader has 34 felony convictions but….
That Black Lady Was Mean to MEEEE
Not to be outdone— yesterday the announcement was made that another trump foe— Leticia James— was going to be indicted as well.
The purported ‘offense’ in this case was James allegedly committed mortgage fraud. The argument was she claimed on a loan that a house would be her ‘secondary residence’ and that then qualified for residential loans instead of a possible rate for an income property.
Sorry..I assume that put you to sleep. Yes at issue here is like a $30k difference over time that they say the smoking gun is someone else stayed there a couple times.
Yes…that is it. But they say she lied to get a better interest rate…even though there was no full legal threshold to delineate a ‘2nd residence.’
WE all know what the real crime was she committed..
James is a smart, successful, powerful Black woman. In his racist brain, the ONLY way she can be anything is if she cheated. He thinks Black people are inferior and our only option is to lie/cheat. (See: Obama and birth certificate.)
But James went against him multiple times, and won. EVERY SINGLE ROUND.
So he had to get retribution.
SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE
Making all of this even dumber is how it went down.
If you recall from three minutes ago, reputable prosecutors in BOTH cases were like “Nah bro there is nothing here” and didn’t want to bring charges.
Toddler baby boy couldn’t take it. So he called someone out of nowhere to pretend like she knows how laws work and charge them anyway.
Enter Lindsey Halligan.
Who is she you ask?
Well…she comes from the Trump beauty pageant circuit. Along with the future wife of Charlie Kirk—Erika.
He likes her because she is SUPER QUALIFIED…Right?
Well, before taking on two of the biggest prosecutions in US history…Lindsey was doing insurance law.
She has NEVER prosecuted before.
Perfectly fine, perfectly fine.
But Seriously
Authoritarians thrive when they can silence dissent and hold down any perceived enemies or challenges to their authority. Because by nature they view themselves as the only ones worthy of any authority on any matter. Experience, education, research…who cares. I alone know best and am best. That is why Tylenol is under threat…just stupid.
These cases will not be the end. More people will be charged, more lives will be ruined all in service of protecting the king.
All hail.
PS—
Congress and Speaker Little Mikey Johnson are refusing to swear in a newly elected member of Congress just because she would be the tipping vote in releasing the Epstein Files.
Have a great weekend!