March of the Penguins

Morgan Freeman would NEVER

As we move along within the dumbest timeline possible, it felt worthwhile to talk about the newest dose of stupid being injected into our veins. Tariffs. But not just tariffs…stupid ones.

In what he called “liberation day” Captain Cheeto announced a myriad of tariffs on all kinds of countries for…who knows.

But the first example of how misguided it was, is the timing of the announcement itself.

My guy moved the time of the announcement until AFTER markets closed because some people on his team (not him obv) realized how BAD this idea is and how markets would tank.

And boy…did they.

This is a real time image of the market at the time of writing.

I am not an expert on the stock market, and if you want a stock analysis read that HERE…but here is one thing I do know— a line going straight down is pretty bad.

Calling This a Clown Show Insults Clowns

The Dow has plummeted. A very possible and preventable trade war is looming, and what is wild about this is he announced it with a chart that looks like a 5th grade math fair project.

He looks so proud and confused at the same time.

But let’s get into the other ridiculous parts of this.

The tariffs are a baseline of 10% on ALL United States trading partners. Most are higher than that. But notably absent are countries of a certain dictators…RUSSIA & NORTH KOREA.

Also notable is a lot the higher tariffs happen to be on non-white/euro countries. And yes, I understand how this stuff works and how certain decisions were made. I lied earlier— I actually do get some of this and I was an Economics minor… but the percentages chosen are baffling AND the places chosen are wild.

Which brings me to the next piece of insanity that I still don’t quite believe. He picked some countries that ONLY HAVE PENGUINS.

This is not a joke. Not a liberal gotcha or anything. There were two islands on the list where people don’t live. Just penguins.

I personally think it is because penguins are landowners who appear mostly black.

I tried to reach out to some penguin friends for comment but this is all they gave me:

There are no words to express how unserious these people are, but I will continue to do my best trying to explain what is going on.

However, now that we know the penguins are targeted, who is next? Limu Emu?

Probably not Doug though…you know why.